Mortification
I am mortified. Today was Hilda and Norma's graduation celebration. We had every intention of attending--next Sunday. Although early in the week I had this Sunday in mind, somehow yesterday I had a moment of "truth" when I decided it could not be this weekend. I can't remember when I decided this--maybe when I was thinking Joel was not going to be home, and I knew he would not miss his girlfriend's graduation party.
I can't blame other people if they fail to understand how I could forget things like this. I don't understand it either. But it does add credence to the request I made of Hiromi yesterday to help me with organizing the things that need doing, because I am not doing well at recognizing them myself and being specific about what needs to happen.
When Joel hurried over to Hilda's house after he got home from KC, I merely thought he was eager to spend time with Hilda. If he had mentioned the party at all, I would still have had time to get ready the flowers I promised to provide (but barely), and collect the little tables I was going to bring for the children. Instead I went and took a nap. I didn't catch on that it was today till Joel got home again around 11:00 and said "Weren't you going to get flowers ready for today?" The horror commenced at that moment and grew for many more minutes.
Oooooooh! So embarrassing. And disappointing. And incredible. I've been noting all the lavender flowers in bloom ever since Susanna asked me if I would make several bouquets. Today I was mentally choosing vases and arranging the flowers.
I even checked the invitation today to find out the time when the event started. How I failed to see the date is beyond me. It's been in plain sight under the clear plastic covering on the dining room table ever since it arrived. Some of us obviously need reminders to check our reminders.
I hate being forgetful. I especially hate it when I disappoint other people with my forgetfulness.
I'm sorry is the beginning of a proper response to this mortifying kind of mistake. And, once more, I'll try to tighten up the routines to keep this kind of thing from recurring. Inside though, I know that, this side of heaven, I will never manage it perfectly. I am too flawed for that. I cast myself on the mercy of God and friends and family.
I hope, if anyone still fears that reminders offend me, they will reconsider, and offer me as many reminders as they want. I will appreciate it more than they will ever know.
I can't blame other people if they fail to understand how I could forget things like this. I don't understand it either. But it does add credence to the request I made of Hiromi yesterday to help me with organizing the things that need doing, because I am not doing well at recognizing them myself and being specific about what needs to happen.
When Joel hurried over to Hilda's house after he got home from KC, I merely thought he was eager to spend time with Hilda. If he had mentioned the party at all, I would still have had time to get ready the flowers I promised to provide (but barely), and collect the little tables I was going to bring for the children. Instead I went and took a nap. I didn't catch on that it was today till Joel got home again around 11:00 and said "Weren't you going to get flowers ready for today?" The horror commenced at that moment and grew for many more minutes.
Oooooooh! So embarrassing. And disappointing. And incredible. I've been noting all the lavender flowers in bloom ever since Susanna asked me if I would make several bouquets. Today I was mentally choosing vases and arranging the flowers.
I even checked the invitation today to find out the time when the event started. How I failed to see the date is beyond me. It's been in plain sight under the clear plastic covering on the dining room table ever since it arrived. Some of us obviously need reminders to check our reminders.
I hate being forgetful. I especially hate it when I disappoint other people with my forgetfulness.
I'm sorry is the beginning of a proper response to this mortifying kind of mistake. And, once more, I'll try to tighten up the routines to keep this kind of thing from recurring. Inside though, I know that, this side of heaven, I will never manage it perfectly. I am too flawed for that. I cast myself on the mercy of God and friends and family.
I hope, if anyone still fears that reminders offend me, they will reconsider, and offer me as many reminders as they want. I will appreciate it more than they will ever know.
posted by Mrs. I at
9:06 PM
1 Comments:
Miriam,
I am so sorry! I'm not sure I can get this said just right, but it needs to be said 'publicly' and quickly... PLEASE don't mortify yourself any longer and I hope you can pick yourself up pretty fast from what you felt from yesterday's happening. It's true that we missed you and your beautiful flowers, but I went along with the perfect confidence that something had come up that was unexpected... and we were OK, without the flowers. I realize very keenly that we ALL are capable of doing the same thing! All this to say that we are sorry and feel sad for you more than for ourselves, because we know you wanted to be here.
BTW, have a Happy Birthday today! (And don't let yesterday's mortification spoil today's joys!)
Bless you, Susanna
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Anonymous, at 6/09/2008
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