My Mother--Still in Transition

On Saturday evening, our DLM family huddled over pizza to put a caregiving schedule in place in anticipation of Mom's coming "home" on Wednesday of this week.

Yesterday the doctor said she doesn't think we'll need to make a decision on whether or not Mom comes home on Wednesday, although she made it clear that if we believed there was benefit in taking her home, we were certainly free to do so.  She is no longer able to swallow, and the IVs have been discontinued.

Mom is being given relaxants and morphine by mouth (in small, easily orally-absorbable amounts), and she is on oxygen.  Her eyes are closed, except for tiny slits of blue eyes visible occasionally, and there are small movements of her head, hands, or feet.  We believe she is able to hear us at these times, and she's making all the response she is capable of.

As late as Friday she was feeding herself and eating well, and was aware and somewhat conversant.  On Saturday, she needed to be fed, and seemed much less aware of her surroundings.  That night was not a good night, and she could hardly be aroused by the nurses.

Yesterday, they moved Mom to the "comfort room," a large, well-equipped room for people who gather to be present at the end of life for a patient.  The hospital kitchen sent a pitcher of iced tea, a thermos of coffee, and a big plate of cookies.  Lois plugged in a crockpot of soup, and food from several baskets brought by well-wishers let us nibble as hunger prompted us.

Local family members gathered to be together and tell Mom "I love you" and goodbye.  Most of us came after lunch and stayed through evening.  Dad, Lois, Dorcas, Heidi, and Hannah stayed through the night.

There were no major changes during the night, although her respirations have slowed somewhat.

One blessing of the recent developments is that Lowell's decision about whether or not to go to Central America has been simplified.  They're staying home for now.

As everyone knows who has experienced something similar, you're pretty sure you don't know how to do this right, but you keep working at getting it right nonetheless, and rely heavily on the grace and mercy of God and the kindness and support of praying people to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  And you thank God often for the hope of heaven.