Life Writing--Random and Organized

Our Dec. 26 DLM family Christmas celebration got off to a rocky start when my mother was admitted to the hospital in Lyons in the morning.  She has a UTI and some atrial fibrillation (heartbeat irregularity).  She seemed better late in the day already, perhaps partly because of the benefit of being fully hydrated through IVs.

Her doctor expects to keep her in the hospital over this weekend at least, and then have her move to the geriatric center within the hospital.  He wants her to stay there until she is able again to walk to the bathroom with a walker.

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The eastern Kansas contingent was well-represented at our family gathering.  My sister Carol (from KC area) made a last-minute decision to come here with her daughter Andrea and husband Brandon and son Micah.  Carol had just returned from a visit to her husband's childhood home in Nicaragua--where some of his family still resides.

Ronald and his family came from Labette County.  Their married son Christopher was here to spend Christmas with Rachel's side of the family, but he had to return home before our family day happened.

Anthony and Hiromi had to work on Friday, and Grant's family left for Washington to spend several weeks with Clare's family.  None of Bill and Dorcas' family could attend, or Matthew and Clara's, or Caleb and Kara's.

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Rhoda told us about a prayer that Mom prayed in her hearing one night in recent weeks when she was tucking Mom in for the night:  "Dear God, watch over us, and keep tabs on our situation."  I can't think of a simpler, more trusting way to ask for help.

Those in Mom's Sunday School class several years ago said that when she was asked for input in class, she typically had one of two answers:  "I'm not prepared to answer that question," or "How soon do you need to know?" The last one cracks me up--indicating, as it does, both a cooperative spirit and inability to cooperate--immediately at least.

It's always nice when a person with dementia can provide moments of reflection and levity, along with the losses that dementia involves.

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Ronald told about their neighbor, a widow who lives alone.  She is well into her nineties.  Recently she fell when she was at home and was able to get to a phone afterward and call for help.  When she was examined, her neck vertebrae were found to be fractured in four places.

"How did you mange to get up by yourself?" Ronald asked her.

"Stubbornness,"* she replied.

*She actually said "stubbornness and ______________" (something else) which I can't recall.

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One of the big attractions at our gathering was a Hovertrax (not sure if that's written just right).  It's essentially a Segway without a "T" handle--a personal transport system.  Word of Life church (old Valley Pride School) had lots of "just right"spaces for trying it out.  Think of it as looking like two wheels connected by an axle.  You stand on the axle and lean forward slightly if you want to go forward, and the battery-powered device obliges.  Want to go faster?  Lean forward farther.  Most of the children and some of the adults mastered the machine--at least to a minimal competence level.  It belongs to Hans.

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Shane moderated the service at church on Christmas Day and led the singing.  I was talking to Henry S. afterward, who said he enjoyed the service.  I noted that we had sung several songs in a minor key and said Shane likes minor songs better than I do.  Henry said he really likes them, but they never could sing them where he used to live because a very strong person in the church had a deep dislike for them.  I had never heard of a church that doesn't sing such songs.

That afternoon Shane's family and ours were at Grant and Clare's house for our Iwashige Christmas gathering, and Shane said a visitor had commented to him after the service that the song selections seemed  to him to have a Presbyterian flavor instead of an Anabaptist one.  We puzzled a bit over what constitutes Presbyterian-flavored songs.

Shane said the choice of minor-key songs was intentional, as a prelude to the prayer time and meditation in which there was a recognition of brokenness in the world, followed by a message of hope.  The song following the message was "To Us a Child of Hope is Born."

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 Our composition class' community writing project was offered for sale on Christmas Day.  Glitches dogged the process, as is usually the case, but it was far less stressful, in general, than usually happens.  A determined effort to keep it simple helped guide the process.

I'm pleased with what a slightly altered approach to this project offered us this year.  I feel that I now have a workable format for doing life writing of my own, and for helping others do life writing of their own.  By dividing life writing into three categories--autobiography, memoir, and legacy, I found it possible to focus on varied types of important information, and called for writers to consider writing at least one piece for each category.  They rose to the task--student and "elder" alike--and wrote one piece on the facts (autobiography), one piece based on significant incidents that helped shape life (memoir), and one piece based on significant ideas to be passed on (legacy).  Seeing people willing to share their life in writing pleases me greatly.  Maybe some time during my sabbatical I can work with a group of elders to facilitate more such efforts.

 I may do some labeling of future blog posts with one of the life writing categories--just to make things simpler if I ever decide to be more organized about my writing.