Problematic Baldness

Grant. Shaved. His. Head. I am so NOT impressed. The head has lumps and bumps heretofore unrevealed. The newly exposed portion has a gray cast due to the paleness of the skin and the dark roots of the severed hair shafts. The rest of his skin is well-tanned. And who knew there were a few pimples lurking underneath that merciful cover of slightly wavy dark hair?

Why did he do this? "Because it's cooler and I don't care how it looks."

"Dorcas [my sister who went through last summer without hair because of chemotherapy] says it's not cooler. It's way hotter because when the sun shines on your head, there's nothing there to insulate it from the heat."

"Insulate it? I've often heard that you lose most of your body heat in the wintertime through your head if it's uncovered." (I think there's something I learned in high school science classes that would have been pertinent to mention at this point, but I couldn't quite get it together--radiant heat always moves toward a cooler object maybe?)

I tried a different angle. "When you got that extreme haircut several weeks ago, I told you never to do that again, especially with Shane's wedding coming up."

"That's two fricken months away. Besides, give me one good reason, besides just that you don't like it . . . "

"Skin cancer. That skin has never seen sunshine before. You could get a lot of damage there in a short time." (Grant works outside all summer long.)

"I plan to use sunscreen till it gets tanned." Puh-leez.

I also told Grant that I hate having to look at that shaved head and that it is very embarrassing. Even while I was saying these things, I knew these were not affirming words or very convincing arguments. But I reasoned that expressing emotion was not entirely off limits either.

Grant has two partners in crime--Justin and Kendrick. Shane, who saw the others when they had a close shave earlier, says only one of them has a well-shaped head. I think they are willingly ignorant of this detail that is apparent to every onlooker.

I think it's a clear case of people in a crowd not being restricted only to the foolishness of their own heart, but each one embracing the weight of everyone else's foolishness and adding it to their own. I think if they could all be relieved of that burden, they would feel lighter. And it would have nothing at all to do with the presence or absence of hair on their head.

I am contemplating a further suitable parental response. Any suggestions?