Counting the Ways.
How do I grieve--besides the obvious ones of crying and praying and waking up very early in the morning? Let me count the ways I've been grieving Anja's death.
1. Go home where I can think.
2. Write, even if it's clumsy and superficial.
3. Notice in my daily reading in the book of Mark every detail of what Jesus did when he encountered pain and death.
4. Ponder the nature of tears and what they mean or don't mean, and what tears can do for us. Conclude again that the worst thing is that crying is so not-pretty. Talk to my comp class about tears.
5. Make Quinoa Salad, which Bill Clinton loves. (It's my newest comfort food--not that Clinton has anything to do with it. I found the recipe in an AARP magazine article about his new vegan lifestyle.) Ask Hiromi to drop it off at LaVerne and Rebecca's house the next morning.
6. Bake two loaves of Susanna's bread--machine style--because we're out of bread.
7. Bake another two loaves of bread, because we ate the first batch so fast, and think maybe I should send some to LaVerne's place.
8. Make a double batch of Oriental Cabbage Noodle Salad. Scour my pepper plants in the garden for the prettiest colored sweet peppers for the salad.
9. Bake two more loaves of bread.
10. Talk to my comp class about brain development, risk-taking behavior, peer pressure, and making good choices.
11. Delay the bulk of one daily comp quiz till the following day.
12. Look in my files for papers Anja wrote for comp class. Print out several poems, make a copy of one comment in her own handwriting and include it in the memory book for Anja's parents.
13. Think about the parents of Anja's friends, and about Anja's closest friends, and pray for them. When Shane was 10, his best friend was killed almost instantly, and I will never forget his pain and our pain because of his pain.
14. Send an email to Anja's brother's girlfriend, who is my prayer partner this year. Being a girlfriend at such a time is a tough role. Pray for her.
15. Pray for every person I see at the funeral or think of who has lost a child through death. I'm surprised how many such people I know.
16. Suggest to Mr. Schrock (after he asked for suggestions) that we do something on death and dying as the Friday afternoon school activity. He took it from there and give an inspired and inspiring presentation that was perfect for the occasion. I want to share more later about that.
17. Slice three loaves of bread and arrange it carefully in a 2 1/2 gallon bag for the after-funeral meal.
18. Help Dorcas take care of her babies at the funeral while Shane is busy singing. Toddler is less willing to be cared for than three-week-old baby, so I get a fun and easy job--holding the baby.
19. Help sing congregational songs at the funeral and at the cemetery, even if I'm not that great on the Hallelujah Chorus.
20. Make sure I get a balloon to release at the cemetery.
21. Rehearse inside my head a multitude of glorious songs after I get home from the funeral.
22. Start another batch of bread.
23. Cook Quinoa for another batch of salad.
24. Empty the "beans" out of the big bean bags from the lounge at school in preparation for washing and refilling the bags.
25. Hear more bad news about Marian's prognosis and resolve to take advantage of any time I can spend with her in the time she has left.
26. Cut out Anja's obituary and put it on the bulletin board in my classroom. Cut out another one and post it when a longer one appears.
27. Look at the flowers carefully and see who they're from, if it's possible without looking too snoopy.
28. Look at all the things someone prepared for the memory table.
1. Go home where I can think.
2. Write, even if it's clumsy and superficial.
3. Notice in my daily reading in the book of Mark every detail of what Jesus did when he encountered pain and death.
4. Ponder the nature of tears and what they mean or don't mean, and what tears can do for us. Conclude again that the worst thing is that crying is so not-pretty. Talk to my comp class about tears.
5. Make Quinoa Salad, which Bill Clinton loves. (It's my newest comfort food--not that Clinton has anything to do with it. I found the recipe in an AARP magazine article about his new vegan lifestyle.) Ask Hiromi to drop it off at LaVerne and Rebecca's house the next morning.
6. Bake two loaves of Susanna's bread--machine style--because we're out of bread.
7. Bake another two loaves of bread, because we ate the first batch so fast, and think maybe I should send some to LaVerne's place.
8. Make a double batch of Oriental Cabbage Noodle Salad. Scour my pepper plants in the garden for the prettiest colored sweet peppers for the salad.
9. Bake two more loaves of bread.
10. Talk to my comp class about brain development, risk-taking behavior, peer pressure, and making good choices.
11. Delay the bulk of one daily comp quiz till the following day.
12. Look in my files for papers Anja wrote for comp class. Print out several poems, make a copy of one comment in her own handwriting and include it in the memory book for Anja's parents.
13. Think about the parents of Anja's friends, and about Anja's closest friends, and pray for them. When Shane was 10, his best friend was killed almost instantly, and I will never forget his pain and our pain because of his pain.
14. Send an email to Anja's brother's girlfriend, who is my prayer partner this year. Being a girlfriend at such a time is a tough role. Pray for her.
15. Pray for every person I see at the funeral or think of who has lost a child through death. I'm surprised how many such people I know.
16. Suggest to Mr. Schrock (after he asked for suggestions) that we do something on death and dying as the Friday afternoon school activity. He took it from there and give an inspired and inspiring presentation that was perfect for the occasion. I want to share more later about that.
17. Slice three loaves of bread and arrange it carefully in a 2 1/2 gallon bag for the after-funeral meal.
18. Help Dorcas take care of her babies at the funeral while Shane is busy singing. Toddler is less willing to be cared for than three-week-old baby, so I get a fun and easy job--holding the baby.
19. Help sing congregational songs at the funeral and at the cemetery, even if I'm not that great on the Hallelujah Chorus.
20. Make sure I get a balloon to release at the cemetery.
21. Rehearse inside my head a multitude of glorious songs after I get home from the funeral.
22. Start another batch of bread.
23. Cook Quinoa for another batch of salad.
24. Empty the "beans" out of the big bean bags from the lounge at school in preparation for washing and refilling the bags.
25. Hear more bad news about Marian's prognosis and resolve to take advantage of any time I can spend with her in the time she has left.
26. Cut out Anja's obituary and put it on the bulletin board in my classroom. Cut out another one and post it when a longer one appears.
27. Look at the flowers carefully and see who they're from, if it's possible without looking too snoopy.
28. Look at all the things someone prepared for the memory table.
posted by Mrs. I (Miriam Iwashige) at
5:52 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home