Trail West Dispatch #12, November 28, 2025

 

“Make eye contact and small talk.  This is not just polite. It is a part of being a citizen and a responsible member of society.  It is also a way to stay in touch with your surroundings, break down social barriers, and understand whom you should and should not trust.  If we enter a culture of denunciation, you will want to know the psychological landscape of your daily life.”                      --Timothy Snyder

Have you ever noticed how masterfully some of the people you know manage to strike up a conversation with anyone they encounter?  Often the conversation begins with small talk, meaning that the topics are not important and the words themselves are not unusually interesting.  Despite seeming to have little to recommend it, beginning a conversation without small talk might seem too awkward or abrupt. 

Some of us have never been very good at small talk, but if Snyder is right, maybe even oldsters like us should get small talk figured out.  We do, after all, like the idea of staying in touch with our surroundings, breaking down social barriers, and knowing whom we should trust. If persecution should come our way, we would benefit from having a clear sense for where we fit in society (or don’t fit), who might need our help, and who might prove to be a helpful friend to us.

Recently, because of a medical appointment ahead of the meeting, I arrived late to a monthly meeting of Master Gardeners.  I tried to slip in unobtrusively, quietly greeting only the people sitting near me at the back table.  I absorbed all of the business meeting, and took care of the matters I was responsible for before heading for the exit after the adjournment.  That’s when Becky called my name loudly from the opposite side of the room, along with a hearty welcome and good wishes for the upcoming holiday.  So much for my not creating a stir.  And yay for Becky for seeing me and celebrating my presence.  I don’t think I’ll ever master Becky’s exuberant manner, but I’m pretty sure that I could do better at seeing others who don’t expect to be seen, and giving them a few kind words that would race around their heart in happy circles as Becky’s have done for me in the past.

Becky and I were once the very last people to leave the meeting, and, impulsively, she faced me and said “Miriam, could we just pray together?  I’m so worried about what’s happening in our country, and we need help.”  So, we held each other’s hands and prayed—heartfelt words spoken to the Father who cares.   That time my heart felt a different kind of happiness as I left the meeting site. We had met God together.

On Sunday in church when we prayed in small groups for people in violent and volatile environments, I remembered to pray for eyes to see people we encounter who are in such places, and for hearts to understand and care.  That same afternoon, I learned from a Facebook friend about needed and welcome change in a pastor’s views after having read Myth of a Christian Nation by G. Boyd. A recent Calvary Messenger article may have influenced him as well. Who knows what God may have been teaching him?

Of late, the hateful words uttered and the cruelty exacted on innocent people by those with remarkable positional authority has felt very heavy.  I have needed interactions with good people around me to remind me of what is right and good.  The SS lesson spoke of how Jesus sees what we offer Him and He treasures it.  It was part of an otherwise meaningful service.  Now that I’m focusing on such things, I remember conversations and exchanged greetings with friends after church, satisfaction at having harvested the last roots, leaves, and solid heads from the garden before the deep cold arrived,  savory soup for Sunday lunch, sick people recovering, Cyber Monday deals that feel like provision, grandchildren who do good school work, blazing sunsets and a cold full moon, green fields of wheat, even purring cats and an eager greeting from the dog—all these good things make small talk and eye contact seem within reach.  –Mrs. I.