Below is part of a recent Facebook exchange in which I reviewed something that seemed relevant to what is being discussed locally, among our church people. I hope to add more later, but it will need to wait. In the meantime, I'd love to hear any feedback from readers. Note that I have only used the initials of the person who commented. If that person wants to go beyond this to be identified, I'll be happy to oblige or to give space for the person themselves to initiate it.
I've interacted with others personally on this topic since this appeared on Facebook. Posting this here is an effort to comply with a request that I share in writing some of what I said in aa private conversation. This is a small beginning.
I hear a lot these days about the need to have ownership in matters that affect us. I think this is often really code for expressing distaste for hewing to standards which one had no hand in creating. When I hear sentiments like this, I often think of something my younger brother Ronald wrote some years ago on "ownership." It made sense to me, and I'll repeat it here as I recall it.
Ronald noted that we can acquire ownership of a material object by various means. 1. If we created it we can own it (note that this is consistent with the "code" meaning). 2. If we receive it as a gift we can own it. 3. If we purchase it we can own it.
I see parallels to the above when we're thinking about traditions or social or even legal expectations. No one should lightly toss aside what may, upon close examination, prove to have been a gift. Beyond that, close examination may reveal that these traditions and expectations are worth "owning" via investment. In any case, don't predicate ownership of something on having created it. Be willing instead to consider the meaning of the term in its various facets, with an openness to taking ownership in one of the less "I'm in charge here" ways.
Your point is well made. We can take ownership through means other than intentional choice on our part. However, it also follows that not all such "receiving" is necessarily beneficial or positive in the outcome.
The invitation to closely examine is appreciated, and necessary.
What are the questions we should ask when we find ourselves in a "receiving" position? What are the motivations and goals of those who are doing the "giving"? Has the thing being "given" borne fruit that is desirable? Do we possess the experience and/or vision to discern the answer? Are they "giving" for the benefit of the receiver, or for other reasons?
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