Disappointment and Hope at Easter

I learned something about Lent this year.  I thought it ended with Easter.  That is, in fact, how some people mark this time.  Others believe that Lent ends on the Thursday before Easter, on Maundy Thursday.  I missed posting something on my blog yesterday, for the first time during Lent (except for the time when something went awry on Blogger and choked on some of my posts and ended up swallowing at least one).

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Committing to a blogging schedule, even a temporary one, was a first for me.  I'm pleased that I was able to maintain it for the most part.  I'm not so pleased that it took so much time and loss of sleep.  I don't write fast.   Also, I ended up with fewer carefully crafted pieces than I idealize, often relying heavily on others to make a case for what I would have liked to convey after having integrated it with my own thinking and experience.  

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We had a sunrise service this morning, starting at 6:45.  I missed the service entirely, showing up just before the coffee and sweets were served--between the outdoor service and the indoor sermon.  The explanation for why I missed it is a little complicated, but I'll say first that it would have been a great deal easier to manage if I had not needed to bring food and if Hiromi had been planning on attending.  

It's not that getting up that early is a problem.  I usually like to get up early, and regularly do so on Sunday morning.  I guess I was simply too exhausted from a long day yesterday and had too many details to see to this morning on my own.  I'll admit that knowing that a heavy cloud cover and a damp morning awaited made me feel like this is not the best year to inaugurate a new sunrise service tradition.

I had begun the day with a list of what needed to be accomplished and a prayer for the Lord to direct me in the details of each task, according to his pleasure and my need.  I spent the day purposefully, with minimal frustration at what was or was not going right around me.   I washed and hung out lots of laundry.  I cooked good food.  Domestic peace and tranquility reigned.  Hiromi and I took a walk together in the afternoon.  

I baked cherry coffee cake for the morning church event.  I prepared two gifts to be given away at church.  One was for friends served by Hands of Christ, and the other was for a dear friend from church.  A small potted Easter lily was included in each gift and some lovely, naturally-colorful fresh eggs from my niece Hannah's chickens.  I included the book by Nik Ripkin The Insanity of Sacrifice in the church friend's gift.   I purchased this devotional book for myself recently and impulsively doubled the order with gift giving in mind.  I've been enjoying readings from this book for several weeks. 

In the small group of people with whom I ate my morning goodies, I confessed that I had not made it to the earlier service and that it was because I had decided to do what made sense this morning  I'm almost sure that it was a little bit shocking to some people who heard me, and I really should have done a better job of saying what I meant.  Doesn't everyone know that if there's a church event, it makes sense to be there? Well, yes.  But sometimes things can go on without me.  Things that used to doable but not easy for me sometimes are not even doable anymore. Fortunately some things that have been easy for me in the past are still doable with minimal stress.  I think it's those things that make the mos tsense for me to concentrate on now.  

My equanimity this morning was deeply reliant on several realities that have come into sharper focus as I age.  One is that I have increasing limitations and need for the Lord's direction and empowerment for navigating both mundane and novel activities.  Another is that stress and panic and exhaustion are not normal Christian states.  A third is that the Holy Spirit is a gentle helper, and God is not a hard task master.

I'll not try to excuse myself from everything that might require concerted effort, but I will recognize that I will be in a far better place than otherwise if I listen carefully to the voice of the Shepherd, who lets me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters.  This will restore my soul.  He will spread a table before me, and pour abundance into my empty cup. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.  And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 

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I like the idea of breakfast casseroles after a sunrise service.  For anyone with blood sugar issues, eating protein before listening to a sermon is a better way to ensure wakefulness than consuming carbs alone, even when the risk of a sugar crash is offset partially by caffeine consumption.  

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I wasn't the only family member who struggled with  getting to the sunrise service this morning.  Here's what Shane wrote on Facebook.

Shane Iwashige

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Good sunrise service at church this morning! One note I'm filing for reference is that it is more worshipful and restful if you wake up before 6:35 on a morning you are supposed to lead congregational singing at 6:45. Actually, that's a personal hypothesis without data to prove it, but I think it would be worth experimenting with next year. The five o'clock alarm to give me time to select appropriate music didn't quite work out. I'm blaming the sick kid and the night spent on the couch, but I'm interested in trying something different next year!

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• • • • Shane Iwashige

        J Wendell Bishop I get up around 4:30 during the week, and usually 5:45 on weekends. I don't even know when I last slept until 6:35... Of course I did the morning I was supposed to lead singing at an early service.

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    • Craig Miller

      A new record for morning hygiene?

      

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        Shane Iwashige

        Craig Miller it was right up there with the best! I was able to walk in as the opening remarks were concluding and confidently strode up to lead singing at the right time. Unlike some of the dreams I've had in the past, I even had my pants on! I don't know about the personal hygiene record, but I'm absolutely confident I've never gone from sleeping to conducting in 15 minutes before.

        

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Our extended family had plans to gather this evening for a simple meal and the egg-dyeing festivities that we often do together, but the "sick kid" referenced in the above post derailed the plan.  Some of his brothers started feeling puny today too.  We canceled and will try again later. 

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I'll leave you with a link to one of the many good Easter mediations I've read this weekend.  Life after death is a marvel that I'll never figure out, but I'm so very grateful that because Jesus lives, all who sleep in Jesus need never die.  They'll switch locations, but never cease to exist.