Entitlements
Last Sunday's sermon was about "enduring hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." It was Brad N.'s first sermon at Center and for us it was a worthwhile listening experience.
Afterward, Arlyn N. (grade school principal) said publicly that he heard from a foreign missionary who observed that it's now more common than it used to be for short term missionaries to arrive on the field with a notable sense of entitlement. Arlyn was lamenting that fact and musing on why it is so.
Several months ago, I had written parenthetically here about this problem in the context of education. Later, I read the writings of another teacher who wrote far more extensively and persuasively about this than I had. This teacher also made a connection between students who feel entitled and eventually grow up unprepared for Christian ministry. Suffice it to say that it's a phenomenon in evidence to more than one teacher whom I know and respect.
I wondered how a sense of entitlement would look in a student. Within one three-day span, I accumulated quite a list of how it might look, with each point below being something students sometimes do:
1. Asking teachers to provide supplies that students are expected to supply.
2. Frequent requests for privileges outside of normal classroom procedures.
3. An expectation for exemption from whole-class assignments.
4. An expectation for being excused from assigned jobs.
5. Interrupting when a teacher is talking, or blurting out information without consideration of the disruption it may cause.
6. Adjusting windows/ventilation to one's own comfort without inquiring about the preferences of others in the room.
7. Appropriating for one's own use whatever is momentarily unattended.
8. Expecting exemption from consequences for insufficient effort, carelessness, or lack of progress.
9. Preoccupation with having fun, and campaigning for many diversions from the normal routines.
10. Frequent complaints about inconvenience or challenging requirements.
11. Infrequent expressions of gratitude.
12. Frequent disregard of deadlines.
I'm pleased to say that I also see many examples of behavior that is far more exemplary than the items on the above list. Nevertheless, I grow weary sometimes of saying "no," issuing reminders, and teaching manners, when most of it would be unnecessary if there were no troublesome underlying sense of entitlement. It's worthwhile noting that children always start out in life with a gargantuan sense of entitlement, and if they arrive at a mature age with that sense intact, it's probably because the adults responsible for their training have not done a very good job. That's why I'll have to go right on saying "no," issuing reminders, and teaching manners, and why every parent needs the grace to do the same.
I've had a fresh object lesson on how it looks when aging adults operate out of a king-sized entitlement mentality, probably from lifelong habits. Folks, it "aint" pretty, and, trust me, you don't want anyone you love to go there.
Afterward, Arlyn N. (grade school principal) said publicly that he heard from a foreign missionary who observed that it's now more common than it used to be for short term missionaries to arrive on the field with a notable sense of entitlement. Arlyn was lamenting that fact and musing on why it is so.
Several months ago, I had written parenthetically here about this problem in the context of education. Later, I read the writings of another teacher who wrote far more extensively and persuasively about this than I had. This teacher also made a connection between students who feel entitled and eventually grow up unprepared for Christian ministry. Suffice it to say that it's a phenomenon in evidence to more than one teacher whom I know and respect.
I wondered how a sense of entitlement would look in a student. Within one three-day span, I accumulated quite a list of how it might look, with each point below being something students sometimes do:
1. Asking teachers to provide supplies that students are expected to supply.
2. Frequent requests for privileges outside of normal classroom procedures.
3. An expectation for exemption from whole-class assignments.
4. An expectation for being excused from assigned jobs.
5. Interrupting when a teacher is talking, or blurting out information without consideration of the disruption it may cause.
6. Adjusting windows/ventilation to one's own comfort without inquiring about the preferences of others in the room.
7. Appropriating for one's own use whatever is momentarily unattended.
8. Expecting exemption from consequences for insufficient effort, carelessness, or lack of progress.
9. Preoccupation with having fun, and campaigning for many diversions from the normal routines.
10. Frequent complaints about inconvenience or challenging requirements.
11. Infrequent expressions of gratitude.
12. Frequent disregard of deadlines.
I'm pleased to say that I also see many examples of behavior that is far more exemplary than the items on the above list. Nevertheless, I grow weary sometimes of saying "no," issuing reminders, and teaching manners, when most of it would be unnecessary if there were no troublesome underlying sense of entitlement. It's worthwhile noting that children always start out in life with a gargantuan sense of entitlement, and if they arrive at a mature age with that sense intact, it's probably because the adults responsible for their training have not done a very good job. That's why I'll have to go right on saying "no," issuing reminders, and teaching manners, and why every parent needs the grace to do the same.
I've had a fresh object lesson on how it looks when aging adults operate out of a king-sized entitlement mentality, probably from lifelong habits. Folks, it "aint" pretty, and, trust me, you don't want anyone you love to go there.
posted by Mrs. I (Miriam Iwashige) at
9:08 PM
2 Comments:
That's Brad N. :)
By
Angela, at 4/30/2013
You're right of course, Angela. I was picturing him exactly right and named him exactly for his brother Rod. I changed it in the text, but am leaving this record of the original error, to keep me honest.
By
Mrs. I (Miriam Iwashige), at 5/01/2013
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