Good Night, Sleep Tight

Ah. Back at last. This is the result of 1) Not getting ready for company in the near future 2) Not having to go anywhere tonight 3) Studiously ignoring all the unchecked papers in my school bag 4) Not having to cook supper for anyone 5) Not feeling so bushed that I seek my bed as soon after 7:00 as I can manage.

My throat is very croaky, and I have occasional bouts of light headedness, but otherwise I feel fine. Besides, I have no time at all to get properly sick since Wes (principal) has gone to Washington, D.C. for the funeral of a close young friend, and Norma and I are holding down the fort at school.

For the time being, I am concluding that whatever I have is what H1N1 looks like when a person is properly fortified with wonderful food supplements. Negligible. I may need to revise this report at some later date depending on further developments. (I should know better than making cocky statements like this.)

There is also the matter of the strange little bubbly red bites that have been appearing on my face and appendages. I have eight bites on my left hand. They itch like crazy, and some of them eventually get infected and scabby like mosquito bites. Mosquito season is past; we have no house pets that might give us fleas. No. It's worse than all that, as it turns out. Not spiders either. It's (get up close now so I can whisper in your ear) bedbugs. That is my self-diagnosis anyway.

After my sleuthing uncovered this information, I cautiously inquired of the person who shared my bed at the ACSI convention in KS several weeks ago. No. She did not have bedbug bites. Then, one by one, I inquired of the other two people who were in the same room. Yes! Both of them had the selfsame thing. We are not amused--but nonetheless gratified that we are not simultaneously succumbing to hypochondria after all.

Apparently, bedbugs have come back with a vengeance, since being nearly eradicated after World War II, and now are found in many hotels all over the world--even some 5-star hotels. They have likely developed some resistance to insecticides, and increased travel has enabled them to colonize new locations easily. They are expert hitchhikers. How's this for motivation to stay home and sleep in your own bed for the foreseeable future?

I have yet to see the first bedbug. I don't even know if I brought them home with me, or if I'm still suffering from bites I got in KC. I've read that the first bites can take about nine days to start itching. They stay itchy for a long time.

I don't want to think about trying to get rid of an infestation in our home. Doing it properly means having the house fumigated several times by a professional exterminator. I can't see us doing that, without irrefutable evidence that it's necessary. Maybe we'll zip up our mattress and box springs inside those cool plastic cases, and toss about some diatomaceous earth inside them. Some of the DE will go around the edges of the bedroom floor also, and under the bed. Before this, we will vacuum diligently in all the cracks we can find around the bed, and wash the bedding again--this time in very hot water.

On the bright side, bedbugs are not known to carry disease. I believe this is the only bright side.

I have a message for the people in a certain hotel in Kansas City: "Call an exterminator. Send him immediately to room 214." And, oh yes. Good night. Sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite. I wonder if the hotel people would find this funny.

Or maybe I'll haul out this old grade school-era song and belt it into the phone, to the tune of "Star Spangled Banner":

Oh say can you see
Any bedbugs on me?
If you do, take a view,
For they're coming at you . . .

If the hotel person listening has a fine third-grade sense of humor, and if he or she hasn't heard it multiple times from former residents of Room 214, this little jingle will undoubtedly resonate happily in his or her mind for a long time to come.

And now, since it's way past my 7:00 bed time, Good Night. Sleep tight . . . .