Open Mike at the Wedding

People lined up lickety-split to say something when my brother Ronald, who emceed at the reception, declared the beginning of open mike time.

Hilda's friend Renita talked about Hilda's faithful friendship when her parental family moved here from Canada, after Renita returned later from having spent four years in Kenya, and all the years in between and afterward. Renita is married to Hilda's brother John, so she is very happy to be able to stay closely involved in Hilda's life.

Sherilyn talked about how her own husband reveals Christ to her in his steady unselfish love, and she believes Hilda will find the same in Joel.

Angelo and Yolanda, Hilda's siblings, each talked about the growing friendship they enjoyed with their older sister as they matured. Angelo was especially interested in seeing that any young men who took an interest in her deserved her. So he was happy when the lucky young man turned out to be Joel, who was his good friend. (I'm having trouble remembering exactly how he said these things.)

Hilda's "Dorm 3" friends from FB delivered their good wishes as a group, the extended Paul Yoder family sang a Dutch song, in honor of the family's friendship with Hilda, who had spent several months with them in Belgium, another FB friend told about Hilda sliding down a snow-covered hill at FB on a piece of cardboard--spontaneous, and rather un-Hilda-like. I apologize for what I'm forgetting at the moment.

Shane said that one of the disadvantages of being Joel's brother was that when people heard that he learned to read when he was three and went to college when he was thriteen, they automatically assumed that Shane was intelligent too. Shane said that he did, in fact, learn a lot from Joel. What he seemed best able to remember at that moment was how Joel taught him to sneak soundlessly past our bedroom when he got home at an indecent hour.

Caleb mentioned Joel's consistent effort to think things through, with as little bias as possible, and doing that better than anyone else he knows. Jared talked about Joel's big vocabulary and how he appreciates that, in times when he could very easily put someone in their place or show them up unfavorably, he refuses to do that. He also referred to a time when he and Hilda rode back from Copeland together and he was impressed with Hilda's ability to think rationally. LeRoy told how Joel used to bring books home from the public library in laundry baskets.

Hiromi did his Japanese wedding song thing again at open mike time. This time it was a little more stressful since his Ipod had quit working that morning and he couldn’t listen and sing at the same time. All the crutch he had was Japanese characters on a paper. As he told the audience, the good part was that if he did it wrong, no one would know the difference. (Grant told him afterward that he thinks it sounds pretty bad even if it’s done right, so he shouldn’t have worried too much about how well he could do it. Familial affirmation, and all that, in evidence here.)

People kept asking him ahead of time if he was planning to sing the Japanese song. He acted coy every time, and refused to commit to doing it. But I was pretty sure he was planning to do so when I stood at the kitchen window the morning of the wedding, where I could see Hiromi as he was doing some of his usual outdoor chores. His mouth was not moving, but I heard Japanese singing coming from somewhere. He had plugged a boom box into the outdoor receptacle so he could listen to the wedding song and get it memorized a little better.

Seriously, this song has a lot of value, I’m sure, and Hiromi’s being able to sing it is a feat that most ordinary Japanese have not mastered, but tuneful it is not--by Western standards, at least. It’s very popular with an audience however. You might try it the next time you have an open-mike opportunity.

I decided not to risk having to write my notes on a napkin after the reception meal like I did at Shane's wedding, so I wrote out what I wanted to say before I went. After I was there I wasn't sure I really wanted to say that anymore. It seemed a little too proud-Mama-ish. So I told the Lord that if He wanted me to say something else, I'd say whatever He showed me. He didn't show me anything else, so I spoke from my notes. I actually missed a few things, but these are my notes:

"One of the pleasures of this wedding is that it joins two families who have been friends for a very long time. Susanna grew up in Indiana, but we met when we were both 17 and have been good friends ever since. David was in my grade in school and our families have always known each other. During all those years, we never talked about the possibility of our children marrying, but we’re glad for God’s hand in bringing it about, even though we were a little slow to catch on.

It’s a real delight to welcome Hilda to our family. Long before we noticed, she was becoming a very fine young lady.

I’d like to tell you a few things about Joel that you may not know. Most of you probably do know that his head works pretty well. What you may not know is that he actually started reading before he was four years old. [I didn't say this, since Shane had already alluded to it.] When he was five, and went to the doctor for his well-child checkup, the doctor wanted to assure himself that he was ready for kindergarten, and asked him if he knows his ABC’s. Joel said no. He really couldn’t recite his ABC’s. But the doctor was reassured when I suggested that Joel read the medical certification documents on the wall out loud. He could do that without a problem.

I remember that when he was four, he used to take a long time bringing in the paper because he was reading it on his way to the house. When he was five, he read the Bible through, and that same year he read Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and Louisa May Alcott’s Little Men or Little Women. (I think little men and little women were equally interesting to him at that point.) Around that time we decided maybe sending him off to kindergarten was not the best use of his time. So we taught him at home.

Joel never lost his love for learning, and has made good use of the opportunities he’s had, and did well in school at home, and later, away from home. He was invited to apply to both Harvard and West Point, but instead he attended local schools, worked full time during all his college years, and paid his own way. At the same time he stayed involved in the local church and community.

You may, or may not, know that Joel’s heart of compassion works well too. We think of him as establishing his family today. But you may not know that he has for a number of years been providing financially for children in other parts of the world–at least five of them in other countries. He keeps in regular contact with an incarcerated man, and for quite a while volunteered weekly at the local juvenile detention center. He volunteered regularly also at the Et Cetera shop. Now he is involved in elder care on the Mennonite Manor board.

Hilda also has a record of academic accomplishments and service to others. I rejoice that in coming together, their individual efforts can be enlarged and their commitment can grow.

I wish them God’s blessing in their life together."

Besides at a wedding, perhaps the only other time so many people say nice things about another person is at a funeral. At a funeral, it can't serve as an encouragement and affirmation for the one being spoken of. Thank God that it can do so at a wedding.

I have one regret about open mike time. I think Judy and Rhoda, two of Joel's aunts by marriage, should have gotten credit for deciding to pray that Joel and Hilda would get together--before Hiromi and I had thought of doing that, and certainly before the thought occurred to Joel. (I haven't grilled Hilda or any member of her family on this point.) Take note--all you aunts of marriageable young men and women. Some marriage may be awaiting your initiative.