A Foolproof Alarm Clock
Shane (yesterday): I bought myself a new alarm clock two days ago. So far, I've slept through it two mornings.
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I suspect most people have a love/hate relationship with their alarm clocks. For the chronically sleep-deprived (which seems to be 100% of the high-school-age people I know) and a high percentage of the mothers-of-infants I know, I can't imagine that the sound of the alarm calls forth any exclamations of joy. I remember those days, and they were not good at the beginning.
Until about three weeks ago, I loved the alarm clock Hiromi bought for me more than any I've ever had. With one setting, instruction manual in hand, right after he brought it home, it faithfully summoned me to the day at 5:30 every weekday morning and 7:00 every weekend morning. This was a really smart alarm clock.
It has an over-sized digital display in blue numbers. My favorite feature is its soft chirping when the alarm first sounds, becoming more insistent if it's ignored. Until recently, my least favorite feature was the radio, which I haven't figured out how to disable when I press the "off" switch. The alarm "off" is apparently the same switch as the radio "on" switch. I've never actually heard anything intelligible on the radio, partly since I allow it on for only a few seconds, but mostly because all it ever produces is crackling static.
Ever since April 1, when Daylight Savings began, my least favorite feature has been its automatic reset at Daylight Savings time. The problem is that this alarm clock was programmed to reset at the end of April, which was the standard time-change date earlier. So I manually re-set the date to the end of April, but this clock is smart enough to know when I'm lying. That different date I selected was also a different day of the week, so the 7:00 Saturday-Sunday alarm rang on Sunday and Monday. Not good--either the 5:30 wakeup on Saturday or the belated 7:00 wakeup on Monday.
To summarize, this alarm clock has obstinately refused to be pressed into the mold I've selected for it. It rang at 4:30 several mornings before I began whipping it back into submission. Then I determinedly pushed buttons according to my best instincts (which aren't anything to brag about where electronics are concerned) and hoped for the best. Right now my alarm is completely turned off. Maybe after April 30 it will right itself magically and I can use it again. Or maybe I'll find the instruction manual and all mysteries will be solved.
Till then, for getting up on time, I'm relying on Hiromi's wakeful rustling noises, and a foolproof, but not very smart alarm clock, a full bladder.
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Shane: Well, my alarm clock went off this morning, and it is the most evil pile of alarm clock. . .
Me: What's wrong with it?
Shane: Well it's a full day's work to turn it off. You have to pull out the switch and retch around on it to turn it off. I'm definitely taking it back to Target tonight.
********************************************
Apparently those first two sleep-throughs were not because of Shane being impervious to the sound, but "operator error" in setting the alarm.
Everything considered, I guess I'd still rather have my smart alarm clock than his obnoxious one. With mine, I have hope for better days, somewhere beyond April 30, or, before then, on the off chance that my smarts can be ratcheted up enough to match my alarm clock's, or the instruction manual shows me new ways to work magic.
********************************************
I suspect most people have a love/hate relationship with their alarm clocks. For the chronically sleep-deprived (which seems to be 100% of the high-school-age people I know) and a high percentage of the mothers-of-infants I know, I can't imagine that the sound of the alarm calls forth any exclamations of joy. I remember those days, and they were not good at the beginning.
Until about three weeks ago, I loved the alarm clock Hiromi bought for me more than any I've ever had. With one setting, instruction manual in hand, right after he brought it home, it faithfully summoned me to the day at 5:30 every weekday morning and 7:00 every weekend morning. This was a really smart alarm clock.
It has an over-sized digital display in blue numbers. My favorite feature is its soft chirping when the alarm first sounds, becoming more insistent if it's ignored. Until recently, my least favorite feature was the radio, which I haven't figured out how to disable when I press the "off" switch. The alarm "off" is apparently the same switch as the radio "on" switch. I've never actually heard anything intelligible on the radio, partly since I allow it on for only a few seconds, but mostly because all it ever produces is crackling static.
Ever since April 1, when Daylight Savings began, my least favorite feature has been its automatic reset at Daylight Savings time. The problem is that this alarm clock was programmed to reset at the end of April, which was the standard time-change date earlier. So I manually re-set the date to the end of April, but this clock is smart enough to know when I'm lying. That different date I selected was also a different day of the week, so the 7:00 Saturday-Sunday alarm rang on Sunday and Monday. Not good--either the 5:30 wakeup on Saturday or the belated 7:00 wakeup on Monday.
To summarize, this alarm clock has obstinately refused to be pressed into the mold I've selected for it. It rang at 4:30 several mornings before I began whipping it back into submission. Then I determinedly pushed buttons according to my best instincts (which aren't anything to brag about where electronics are concerned) and hoped for the best. Right now my alarm is completely turned off. Maybe after April 30 it will right itself magically and I can use it again. Or maybe I'll find the instruction manual and all mysteries will be solved.
Till then, for getting up on time, I'm relying on Hiromi's wakeful rustling noises, and a foolproof, but not very smart alarm clock, a full bladder.
*****************************************
Shane: Well, my alarm clock went off this morning, and it is the most evil pile of alarm clock. . .
Me: What's wrong with it?
Shane: Well it's a full day's work to turn it off. You have to pull out the switch and retch around on it to turn it off. I'm definitely taking it back to Target tonight.
********************************************
Apparently those first two sleep-throughs were not because of Shane being impervious to the sound, but "operator error" in setting the alarm.
Everything considered, I guess I'd still rather have my smart alarm clock than his obnoxious one. With mine, I have hope for better days, somewhere beyond April 30, or, before then, on the off chance that my smarts can be ratcheted up enough to match my alarm clock's, or the instruction manual shows me new ways to work magic.
posted by Mrs. I at
5:15 AM
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