Fragments, Fallout, and Freedom

Today I posted this message on Facebook.

Miriam Iwashige

2 hrs · 

I suppose this is as good a time as any to let my friends know that I plan to step away from Facebook for a while. I will check periodically for private messages, but do little browsing and engage in few interactions. I hope to devote more time to blogging. My blog address appears on my Facebook page.

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I had already written  "Please hold your applause," but I thought better of that smart-alecky tone before I posted the above status.   

If you're my Facebook friend and have been there recently, you may know something of the drama around my recent activity there.  If not, you probably suspect that there's a backstory to my decision.  You'd be right if you suspected that.  

Several weeks ago I had decided that maybe I would undertake a special Lent observance of some kind this year, a fast of some kind perhaps.  I was feeling somewhat ambivalent about that, but went to the trouble to find out when Lent begins.  "About  the middle of February" is what stayed in my mind.  That turns out to have been incorrect.  It's actually February 26.  

I've done several water-only fasts of several days' duration this year, and those worked out pretty well, so that's the kind of fast I had in mind--not the whole 40 days, but for shorter periods of time.  

Increasingly,  however, I came to dread some of the interactions that were happening on Facebook.  I couldn't keep them from happening and most of the pleasure went out of being present there.   I decided that for the sake of my own well-being I couldn't wait till Lent begins to mostly withdraw from Facebook for now.

I am happy for all the private communication that has occurred.  By that route, I've heard some precious affirmations, as well as having fielded some questions from dear friends.  Those who commented the most combatively publicly have been almost entirely silent privately, even when I initiated communication. 

The very best thing that has happened through the brouhaha on Facebook is that I have had many wonderful opportunities to think and learn and renew my commitment to follow the Lord.  The next best thing that has happened is that I now have a wealth of material begging to be written.  I know that the "next best thing" label may not represent a universal opinion, but "it's my story and I'm sticking to it."

Because I often write to process my thoughts, I was able to gain clarity in matters that I never before thought about enough to have an opinion on, much less a conviction.  I reviewed my past influences and evaluated the changes that have occurred in my thinking.  I forged ahead into some new territory regarding the role of women in the Christian community and the role of prophetic ministry--via the Sunday School lessons we've had recently from the book of Acts.  I wrestled with heavy questions about the nature of sin and the reality of disability and brokenness.  I've thought about establishing healthy boundaries while wanting to reach out redemptively at every opportunity.  I see myself now more than ever as being deeply flawed--and marvelously blessed by a loving Father.  Especially I see myself as having both a duty and a privilege to follow where God leads. 

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While I don't have a clear sense for how this will develop, I believe a series of blog posts including some of the topics in the previous paragraph is pending.  I will likely also draw from some of the things I've written in private written conversations.  I may refer to some of what others have written as questions, but since I haven't asked for permission to share their words, I will not intentionally reveal their identity.  If they are blog readers and wish to identify themselves, that's fine.

I hope the fallout is mostly past and that the fragments I've gathered up can be arranged in some cohesive fashion.  I know that I already feel a huge sense of freedom because of being able to continue writing here rather than being stuck in the clutches of Facebook.

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Recently the president of our local chapter of Kansas Author's Club asked if he could pencil me in for giving a presentation to the group on "Life Writing." I have delayed answering, for no particularly good reasons.  After this series is written, I may have acquired enough more experience with Life Writing that I can readily answer that question in the affirmative.  I already know more things that can go wrong than I did before, so I think that part is covered.