Comments on Old Posts

I've been wanting to return to the topics of several earlier posts.  First, I'll respond to a question someone asked about how to live like pilgrims and strangers.

I answered originally in fairly blase` terms, and completely forgot about mentioning the practice of hospitality as an important "pilgrims and strangers" practice.  Who understands the need for this better than a traveler?  And who is in a better position to extend hospitality than "travelers" who are temporarily in a stationary place while other pass by?

I have great admiration for those who do this so much better than I do.  It's one of the goals of my life to exercise this grace more effectively.

One of the insights I gained in considering the question about how to express our pilgrims and strangers status in daily life is that much of the expression is quite undramatic and ordinary.  Broad strokes and grand gestures are probably the least likely to qualify as pilgrim-and-stranger-friendly activities and choices.  Humble, plodding, make-do contentment is more likely to qualify.

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I also want to comment further on the "Your Women Are Not Happy" post.  I will not attempt to declare emphatically how things really are, since I'm not quite sure what to say, but I do think it would be unwise to assume that all those who have observed the phenomenon in the title are delusional.  In other words, I'm guessing that a lot of women do, in fact, look unhappy.

While I'm not sure if all those people are actually unhappy, several reasons why this might be the case have occurred to me.  Take a deep breath here.

1.  Burdens of child rearing fall disproportionately on women because of what we have come to accept as necessities in a man's work world.  I believe this "normal" is, in fact, not normal at all in God's design.  Child rearing is a two-parent job, and when one parent is habitually absent during most waking hours, this burden is not carried on two sets of shoulders as reliably as it ought to be.  Lack of flexibility is often an accompaniment to this arrangement, and taking a child along or involving a child in the dad's work is often an impossibility.  For women, even a tiny bit of flexibility in the husband's schedule makes a huge difference.  Relief will show on her face if this can happen.

2.  Just when children are old enough to help lift many of the burdens of homemaking and childcare, they often go off to school, leaving Mom alone again with younger children needing a lot of care and not offering much help.  The hassles of transportation and dealing with problems the school environment presents can add to the challenge of this choice.  Homeschooling can prevent some of these problems, but schooling tasks can be demanding too.  This is another two-parent job.  I loved having my children close by day in and day out, but I often wished Hiromi were close by too.  I couldn't even reach him on the phone most of the time--company policy.  I'm positive that the frustration of being quite alone sometimes showed up on my face.

3.  Hormone fluctuations can set emotions on edge and sap energy, and women often experience these effects.   "Carrying on" is their only option, however, and sometimes it's barely manageable.  That strain can show up on a woman's face.

4.  Mothers are too often limited to custodial tasks (especially when they do not homeschool--see note on deep breath above).  No woman should refuse to do custodial tasks when needed--and that is exactly what is needed much of the time.  These tasks can be infused with meaning when they are offered as a service to our loved ones and as a sacrifice to God.  They can even be welcome and restful when mixed with other activities.  I heard Elizabeth Elliot say that this is her experience, and I know exactly what she meant.  I've felt the same way.  Doing head work and people work can be very draining, and having to do little more than make one's hands and feet move can seem really easy by comparison.  When no head work or people work is present, however, doing one mindless task after another, day after day, can really drain a lot of zest out of life.  This might be evident in a woman's countenance.

5.  This one almost makes me choke (I really hate sounding whiney), but I think I'd best be honest.   Women's ideas are often less valued than those of men in the "marketplace of ideas" in our church bodies.  I have argued at times that this is not typically the case, but I've heard a different story from men who listen to and observe the behavior of other men.  I find this possibility profoundly distressing.

6.  Women who feel loved, affirmed, and valued will almost certainly have an enlightened countenance.  Without further comment, I rest my case.

If you haven't read the comments others have made on the original post, I urge you to do so.  I loved reading them.

More thoughts?