Mother Iwashige

I have lost the second mother I gained almost 31 years ago.  Hiromi's mother, Kimiko, died yesterday in Japan at the age of 97.  The funeral is tomorrow.  Neither Hiromi or his sister will attend.  Their brother in Japan is making the necessary arrangements.

She had declined very gradually over the past several months and faded away in a "nursing home."  ("Hospital" is the word they use, but it describes something different than what we know by that name.)  She was living in her own home across the sidewalk from her oldest son's home until recently.  She has been a widow since August 18, 1968--44 years ago.  Hiromi's father, Ayami, was 54 years old when he died of lung cancer.  Hiromi was 23.

I have met Mother Iwashige only twice--once when she visited in Kansas before we were married, and once  when our oldest child was a baby and we visited Japan.  She was a tiny, artistic woman with a gentle nature and warm heart.  How do I know all that without ever having had a conversation with her, except through an interpreter?  By what Hiromi has told me, by her lovely handmade gifts, and by what I observed when I was with her.  She could write poetry, arrange flowers, play the shamisen, dance gracefully to Japanese music (fan in hand), knit sweaters, and create carefully crafted, beautifully-done home decor items.  Her spunk and eagerness to learn prompted her to try to learn English when she was in her seventies.  She hired a private tutor to teach her. Hiromi has always spoken highly of her as a good mother.

She graciously accepted me as her son's wife, although it's certainly safe to say that I was not the kind of woman she pictured if she ever dreamed of how her son's wife would look.  Instead, when he told her that we were getting married, she told him that it was probably good for him to marry an American if he wanted to live here.  While we were in Japan, she told her sister, who then told Hiromi, that she feels very comfortable to have me raising her grandchildren.  She never did anything to interfere with our relationship or the way we chose to live.  What a gift!

I regret that Grant has never met his grandmother.  Joel and Shane have each visited her in Japan.

Daily life can go on for us much as it has in the past, but we grieve nonetheless.  A mother's life matters, and we feel the loss when it ends.

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Here are the numbers of Mother Iwashige's descendants:

3 children (Hiromi)
8 grandchildren (Joel, Shane, Grant)
7 great grandchildren (Tristan )
7 great, great grandchildren

25 descendants