Mecca for the Disgruntled
I have an idea for all those church groups that do not wish to become known as a "Mecca for the Disgruntled: " Establish a policy declaring that you will not encourage membership or regular attendance at your church for all those young people who have Christian families in another local congregation. I would keep this policy in place for everyone under 21 years of age.
I didn't suck this idea out of my own thumb, although I don't actually know any church with this official policy. I'm remembering something I heard that transpired within the last decade (?) when a local young man spoke to someone on our leadership team about becoming a member in our church. Whoever he talked to urged him to keep on attending his parents' church and become a member there for the time being. The church was considerably more conservative than ours, and I'm sure the inconvenience of the arrangement rankled sometimes for this young man. He did, however, eventually become a member at our church, and has been supportive ever since. From this perspective, it seems that no harm was done by the wait.
I know of a case in another state where the leaders gave a young man similar counsel: stay in your parents' church for now. In recent years, the pastor's wife told me her husband has agonized over whether his advice was sound, given the fact that this young man has never truly found a church home. But my hunch is that if they had offered membership when it was sought, they would have simply been the first in what is by now a very long chain of tried-and-found-wanting churches in this person's history. Observation suggests that the best churches, in his mind, have always been the ones that required absolutely nothing from him.
I think the kind of policy I'm suggesting would help churches in their endeavor to establish a strong, healthy, Christ-representing body. This is the stated desire of most of the churches I'm familiar with. No church I've ever heard of wants to be a Mecca for the Disgruntled.
But it's hard to turn away a person who arrives, convinced that your church is exactly what he's looking for. However, if the main thing he's looking for is a less restrictive environment--and I am cynical enough to believe that this is often the case--what kind of church building material will he bring with him? Hangups and self-will transfer easily, but wholehearted loyalty and humility would be much more useful qualities for a new arrival to bring with him. Sadly, these things are often not notably present in a person who is looking for a less restrictive environment. It's possible, of course, for older people to arrive for wrong reasons and young people to arrive for right reasons, but greater age will hopefully also mean greater maturity, and more resources to contribute to a church body.
It's very likely that the emphasis we all want to maintain on evangelism and nurturing of believers prompts a wide-open-doors stance toward all who come seeking. But we would do well to make sure that we're not short-circuiting the seeker's chances to continue to learn from other Christians in their original family and church setting. It seems reasonable to me too to recognize that those who have loved a young person and invested in his life till now would appreciate some return on their investment.
As a teacher, I am keenly conscious of my obligation to work at turning the hearts of my students toward their Christian parents--not toward me, primarily. That is perhaps a worthy goal for every church leader to aspire to as well--to turn a young person's heart toward his parents.
I didn't suck this idea out of my own thumb, although I don't actually know any church with this official policy. I'm remembering something I heard that transpired within the last decade (?) when a local young man spoke to someone on our leadership team about becoming a member in our church. Whoever he talked to urged him to keep on attending his parents' church and become a member there for the time being. The church was considerably more conservative than ours, and I'm sure the inconvenience of the arrangement rankled sometimes for this young man. He did, however, eventually become a member at our church, and has been supportive ever since. From this perspective, it seems that no harm was done by the wait.
I know of a case in another state where the leaders gave a young man similar counsel: stay in your parents' church for now. In recent years, the pastor's wife told me her husband has agonized over whether his advice was sound, given the fact that this young man has never truly found a church home. But my hunch is that if they had offered membership when it was sought, they would have simply been the first in what is by now a very long chain of tried-and-found-wanting churches in this person's history. Observation suggests that the best churches, in his mind, have always been the ones that required absolutely nothing from him.
I think the kind of policy I'm suggesting would help churches in their endeavor to establish a strong, healthy, Christ-representing body. This is the stated desire of most of the churches I'm familiar with. No church I've ever heard of wants to be a Mecca for the Disgruntled.
But it's hard to turn away a person who arrives, convinced that your church is exactly what he's looking for. However, if the main thing he's looking for is a less restrictive environment--and I am cynical enough to believe that this is often the case--what kind of church building material will he bring with him? Hangups and self-will transfer easily, but wholehearted loyalty and humility would be much more useful qualities for a new arrival to bring with him. Sadly, these things are often not notably present in a person who is looking for a less restrictive environment. It's possible, of course, for older people to arrive for wrong reasons and young people to arrive for right reasons, but greater age will hopefully also mean greater maturity, and more resources to contribute to a church body.
It's very likely that the emphasis we all want to maintain on evangelism and nurturing of believers prompts a wide-open-doors stance toward all who come seeking. But we would do well to make sure that we're not short-circuiting the seeker's chances to continue to learn from other Christians in their original family and church setting. It seems reasonable to me too to recognize that those who have loved a young person and invested in his life till now would appreciate some return on their investment.
As a teacher, I am keenly conscious of my obligation to work at turning the hearts of my students toward their Christian parents--not toward me, primarily. That is perhaps a worthy goal for every church leader to aspire to as well--to turn a young person's heart toward his parents.
posted by Mrs. I at
5:08 PM
2 Comments:
An interesting dilemma..Open door for whoever, and parental loyalty. I am sure that there are to many complicated scenarios to make a cut and dry conclusion to the problem, but it gives food for thought.
By
Dorcas Byler, at 6/25/2009
I see it as an open door to all believers except for those under 21 whose families are already part of a local church. I agree, however, that exceptions could be considered on an individual basis.
By
Mrs. I, at 6/25/2009
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