Final Day Reflections

Today was the last day of school. The last few days have been so intense that I have no idea how to act now that the pressure is off.

Last night was graduation, and Steven was entirely finished with his pace work and classes. Ever since last year when Grant was three paces shy of being done, I've worried about Steven. But he made it, and I'm proud of him. Matthew, the other senior, was done in good time and had the coveted senior privilege of popping in and out the last while, being there only for classes some days.

I am not going back to school next year, so it is goodbye in a different sense than has ever been the case the past six years. All day I was afraid I couldn't handle the emotion of the day, and would completely fall apart. When Mr. Schrock gave us a chance to say what we wanted to say this morning in our all-school devotions time, I didn't trust myself to speak because I was afraid I'd cry. I didn't say anything and cried anyway.

When I gave a speech at the awards assembly, I failed to say something I had in my notes, that I would miss not being part of the action next year. Also I did not give thanks and accolades to anyone (except my family, who made teaching possible for me) when I wanted to give them to everyone. After the class reports, tongue in cheek, I enumerated several matters of unfinished business, i.e. lessons the students have not yet learned, things like Risk taking is not an obligation, and Not everything left unattended on a horizontal surface is public property, and Talking can wait and Whispering involves lip movement, visible from the opposite end of the learning center, and The five-minute Bible reading time right before Anabaptist History class is not an appropriate time to begin reading the assignment, and Tidiness is a good thing. The students laughed appreciatively. They have generous hearts.

Then Larry, the administrator, got up and make a few remarks about the school, about next year, and about my sabbatical, and when he said nice things about my contribution, everyone clapped, and several former students got up and kept on clapping, and then all the current students got up and clapped. I felt very honored. Then, at the end of everything, the students realized they had not had a chance for a "thank you" applause for Mr. Schrock, so Steven went to the microphone and announced that this applause would be for Mr. Schrock. Loud and long and heartfelt it was. He deserved it.

After the awards assembly was over, the girls and I went outside for picture-taking--their request. What a sweet bunch of young ladies.

Wes and I had a tiny bit of time to talk this afternoon. I think I realized today for the first time just how stressful this year has been for him--not because of any single difficulty or trial, but because he worked ever-so-hard while he was there, and still needed to stay long hours and felt wistful about not being better prepared for his classes. I hope he speaks up and I hope people who can do something about this will. After a year of having done a really good job at everything he was asked to do, he has certainly earned the right to influence the direction of things for another year.

Our student numbers are still growing--21 this year, and probably 24 next year. When I started teaching, we had two full time and one 3/4 time teacher with the same number of students.

I do understand that the enrollment-numbers transition times are difficult for school administrators. The tipping point that necessitates adding staff is hard to identify, just as the tipping point for down-sizing was.

I will pray for everyone involved. They are close to my heart and I could not forget if I tried.