Followup to "Giving Up Rights" Comment

This post is written in response to a comment in a previous post.  I do appreciate the comment, the mild tone especially, although I wish it were not anonymous, so I could better understand the context of the comment.  I had originally written this as a second comment below the previous post, and then decided it was too long to fit well there. Also, many of the sentiments below had at first been included with the "rights" post, but I eliminated them in the interest of leaving my main concern easier to focus on.  I'm not sure if it worked.  (You need to read the reader's comment now, if you haven't.)  Here's my response:

I'm not sure if I understand your comment.  Do you understand me to say that I think the parents make or break the school?  If so, I didn't make myself clear.  If you think parents make or break the school, I think we have a simple disagreement--although I recognize some validity in that position.

In my mind, there's an unresolvable conflict between assuming that parents are responsible for school culture and recognizing that they have very few rights--which the structure of our classroom schooling system seems to reflect.  Rights and responsibilities should always go together, and in the Christian school classroom system the responsibilities of parents seem to be verbally affirmed, but the rights aren't--and I understand why they can't be . . . because the "efficiencies" of group schooling will not allow it.  

You are also right in recognizing that parents DO have influence on their own children, but that is more limited than any of us wish it were if children go away to school, given the limitations of the classroom model of instruction--which requires a lot of time away from parents, and a lot of time under the influence of peers and teachers.

In summary, I believe that parents  have the right and responsibility to teach their own children any time, anywhere. If however, they choose to delegate this responsibility (i.e. give it away, in measure), they also give away much of their influence, and many of their rights.  I think this is lamentable, but probably unavoidable, if delegation is chosen.

At our parent-teacher's meeting the other evening, I did not hear heavy-handed laying on of parental guilt, or impassioned pleas to support school staff. There was instead an appeal to work together toward kingdom building through discipling students. If there was an additional fundamental concern, it was that everyone recognize that the task is primarily an adult task rather than a student task.  When students are given too much responsibility or free reign, the discipling process can be circumvented.

If the above comment is not from a local person, perhaps this explanation is not needed, but I did want to clarify that I am not registering a complaint about irresponsible or unsupportive parents.  I am instead registering sympathy for what I consider a very difficult role--being the parent of a child in a classroom school situation.  This role is made more difficult when parents are told how great their responsibility is, while they are, at the same time, given very little room to exercise their responsibility.

I will say also that how this stacks up has become ever clearer to me from having experienced many roles in the educational world and in the family.