The Orthodoxometer
In yesterday’s sermon Julian introduced us to the orthodoxometer. The gauge on this imaginary device has a needle that flops from side to side as we mentally categorize the people we encounter. Married for some time and no children? Must not like children. Hard to the left (liberal). Wearing suspenders though. Flip to the right (conservative) side of the gauge.
The orthodoxometer was the tongue-in-cheek virtual invention of another minister whose name is Charles. While the analogy is not perfect (as our curmudgeonly friend LeRoy pointed out to me last night), I loved the way this crisp image elucidated a frustrating phenomenon that has been hard to quantify. By all appearances, the orthodoxometer is in regular use in some quarters, and it functions without reference to rhyme, reason, or Scriptural principle. Especially troublesome is the zeal with which the needle’s authoritative answers are sought and the rapidity with which corresponding labels are applied to unsuspecting saints and sinners alike. In fact, the label seems sometimes to determine the identity of the person labeled: Conservative? Saint; Liberal? Sinner. Puh-leez.
Obviously, when written in lower-case letters, the words liberal and conservative have value-neutral meanings, or at least conservative is value-neutral. Liberal can mean generous, a universally-accepted positive character quality. So why all the hoopla about good Christians, of necessity, being Conservative?
I once overheard a friend of mine from another state saying, “Kansas people are Democrats. They don’t admit it, but they are.” Frankly I was mystified. No one in my social circle had ever identified themselves as a Democrat, as far as I knew. But then, neither, had they identified themselves as Republican (and Conservative, by association). Therein lay the true shortcoming of the Kansas people in my friend’s eyes.
Maybe a properly designed orthodoxometer has a halo around the marking on the right and a pitchfork penetrating the marking on the left. If so, maybe I’ve been missing something.
One of my cousins once won a township board election by having the most write-in votes on both the Democratic and the Republican ticket. Another local person decided to run for a legislative seat, and switched his party identification several times before deciding to run on the ticket he believed he had the best chance of winning. The point here is that sometimes political labels are simply much more trouble than they are worth. What’s to love about such labels? Anyone who operates first and always by principle will regularly find himself at odds, or conversely, find himself in agreement with people from either political party who also operate by principle. The man-designed platforms of any political party have moral holes big enough to fly a Concorde through. I refuse to abandon myself to such a flawed construct, and I’m embarrassed when people I love do so. I know, I know. It’s not my problem, but the blush comes unbidden.
Let’s just all throw out our orthodoxometers. In their place, let’s open the Word of God and let it direct and judge our loyalties and alliances. To be sure, the process may still involve symbolic halos and pitchforks, but they will be scattered throughout the pages of the Inspired Gauge, wherever a circumstance or position coincides with or conflicts with a standard set forth by the King of the Kingdom we belong to. When we find these illuminated truths, not even the most vigorous stomp of an elephant or kick of a donkey will be able to dislodge them from their abiding place.
The orthodoxometer was the tongue-in-cheek virtual invention of another minister whose name is Charles. While the analogy is not perfect (as our curmudgeonly friend LeRoy pointed out to me last night), I loved the way this crisp image elucidated a frustrating phenomenon that has been hard to quantify. By all appearances, the orthodoxometer is in regular use in some quarters, and it functions without reference to rhyme, reason, or Scriptural principle. Especially troublesome is the zeal with which the needle’s authoritative answers are sought and the rapidity with which corresponding labels are applied to unsuspecting saints and sinners alike. In fact, the label seems sometimes to determine the identity of the person labeled: Conservative? Saint; Liberal? Sinner. Puh-leez.
Obviously, when written in lower-case letters, the words liberal and conservative have value-neutral meanings, or at least conservative is value-neutral. Liberal can mean generous, a universally-accepted positive character quality. So why all the hoopla about good Christians, of necessity, being Conservative?
I once overheard a friend of mine from another state saying, “Kansas people are Democrats. They don’t admit it, but they are.” Frankly I was mystified. No one in my social circle had ever identified themselves as a Democrat, as far as I knew. But then, neither, had they identified themselves as Republican (and Conservative, by association). Therein lay the true shortcoming of the Kansas people in my friend’s eyes.
Maybe a properly designed orthodoxometer has a halo around the marking on the right and a pitchfork penetrating the marking on the left. If so, maybe I’ve been missing something.
One of my cousins once won a township board election by having the most write-in votes on both the Democratic and the Republican ticket. Another local person decided to run for a legislative seat, and switched his party identification several times before deciding to run on the ticket he believed he had the best chance of winning. The point here is that sometimes political labels are simply much more trouble than they are worth. What’s to love about such labels? Anyone who operates first and always by principle will regularly find himself at odds, or conversely, find himself in agreement with people from either political party who also operate by principle. The man-designed platforms of any political party have moral holes big enough to fly a Concorde through. I refuse to abandon myself to such a flawed construct, and I’m embarrassed when people I love do so. I know, I know. It’s not my problem, but the blush comes unbidden.
Let’s just all throw out our orthodoxometers. In their place, let’s open the Word of God and let it direct and judge our loyalties and alliances. To be sure, the process may still involve symbolic halos and pitchforks, but they will be scattered throughout the pages of the Inspired Gauge, wherever a circumstance or position coincides with or conflicts with a standard set forth by the King of the Kingdom we belong to. When we find these illuminated truths, not even the most vigorous stomp of an elephant or kick of a donkey will be able to dislodge them from their abiding place.
posted by Mrs. I at
7:32 PM
1 Comments:
A simple response: Huzzah!
By
Anonymous, at 9/18/2007
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