A Fresh Grief

Shane called this morning to tell us that Dorcas' mother, Esther Kuepfer, from Mission Home, VA died. She was about 58.

Later we got the church's call chain message saying that the death had occurred at 5:30 this morning. She was diagnosed in May with cancer. At that time its presence was confirmed in her lungs and spine. Since then, evidence showed that it had spread to her brain as well. No treatment was advised at any time, except for some initial radiation to shrink the tumor on her spine in hopes of retaining function below her waist. That had the desired effect.

Shane, Dorcas, and two-month-old Tristan are somewhere in Illinois en route to Indiana in a semi. The plan had been to meet this evening with Josh and Misty from here at the home of Shane's cousin, Kevin, who lives in the Goshen area with his wife and baby boy. The men were friends since their youth days and have decided to try to get together once a year. This year the reunion was to be at Kevin's house.

Shane is doing some trucking this winter while his basement construction job is on hold for the winter. All going together to Indiana in the semi was one way to make this trip pay instead of being a drain on finances.

Funeral plans have not been announced.

When we talked to Shane, they were still trying to decide how to proceed. We're all very glad that the little family is together. If Dorcas and the baby were here and Shane were on the road, all sorts of complications would be present that are eliminated this way.

Hiromi had said earlier that he thinks if Esther died, we would want to consider going to the funeral. This morning he was back to his reflexive travel stance. This is how our conversation went this morning:

Me: Do you think we should try to find a way to go to the funeral?

Hiromi: I don't think so.

Me (remembering Hiromi's earlier sentiments) : Why are you saying that?

Hiromi: I don't know.

Me: Reflexive behavior?

Hiromi: Yeah.

I'm checking out possibilities for catching a ride with someone. We agree that we don't have a vehicle that should go, and we don't have money to fly. Meanwhile, Hiromi is noting that "You don't have school till Monday, so going would be no problem," and I'm saying that's an over-simplification. So you see how it goes: stellar communication and well-thought-out stances all around.

Joel and Hilda and David and Susanna, who all thought they would want to go to Esther's funeral, now have plans to have their son and brother Angelo and his wife Anna come for this weekend. They live in Boston and aren't often home, so it seems likely that they will stay home instead of making the trip. My co-teacher, Norma, is a dear friend of Rachel's and is considering making the trip, perhaps connecting with Craig and Rachel to fly out of Dallas, so that she can help care for the babies.

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Dorcas has two siblings, Rachel (married to Craig Miller--LaVerne's) and Joe (married to Marilyn Miller--Gary's) who live here and attend our church. An older sister, Ruth, and two younger brothers, Tim and TJ, are presently at home with Mark in Virginia.

Craig and Rachel are in Texas on a family vacation with Craig's extended family. They have a one year old, and twin daughters who were born last summer. Craig and Rachel have spent most of their married life in Thailand, but came home in May to be with her family initially. Mark had asked that all the children come home at that time, believing that it would be a time when Esther could still enjoy having them there. Each of the children has gone home at least once since then--Craig and Rachel in October, Shane and Dorcas in late November and early December, and Joe and Marilyn over Christmas. Ruth returned home in mid-December after having been in Thailand at IGO for their 2012 term.

A special gift was the privilege Mark and Esther had to travel to Kansas to see their twin granddaughters while they were still tiny.

Esther also learned to know Tristan when he was about a month old. I saw a picture of her holding him. They were looking into each other's eyes and smiling broadly at each other. Two people, bound together by flesh and blood, one so recently entered into the land of the living, and the other, so soon leaving--but coming together briefly between eternity past and future, enjoying a tiny taste of the bliss that is now Esther's forever. . . . What a treasure.